Miss Mayhew's
Richard couldn't hear the rest of what the captain and Billy were discussing as he came around somewhat and put on speed away from the horribleness of the alley. Ahead lay a rustic and battered old building that was trying to look opulent, as it had lanterns and flowers in front of the door. A sign read Miss Mayhew's. A rustic and battered old woman who was also trying to look opulent was standing outside, making lewd and suggestive conversation with all of the foot traffic passing within earshot.
"Oy, luv. You looks like yor in need of some relaxation. Been in a bit of a scrape I sees." she said as Richard approached.
Richard was still not completely in charge of his faculties. "I'm in need of a boy. And a dog." he said, struggling to make some sense of the last few minutes.
"Well yor in luck, then, ain'tcha. Right this way, luv. Boy is plain enough; this dog, now. Be that a male dog or a bitch you are lookin' for?"
"Good God, woman, what does that matter?"
"Right you are, luv. The dog's preference in the matter is neither here nor there. You just steps inside here and we'll fix you right up. Boy! Off you go over to Doc Heaslip's and fetch his old hound. Tell Doc I has a gen'lman of discerning tastes as needs a dog and I'll make it up to him later myself. Now, sir, you just be taking off that shirt and I'll make sure it sparkles before you're through. Can't be having all that blood in here. Why word of that would get around and heaven only knows what the clientele would think. Though the red is an improvement over the normal colours I sees you prefers I must say. And silk too! My word but that speaks of a gentleman, as is ordained by God Himself to be of a higher station. And very fancy boots too I must say. Best leave them in here as well, sir, they are a bit whiffy. Now you just steps this way, sir, and I'll take you to see Mary as has a boy that is not currently engaged in another pursuit. And mind you leave your sword in the parlour too, sir. There are very few rules at Mayhew's but that is one I stand by. You can rest assured your belongings will be safe here, sir. All of the clientele sort of watches all the rest if you catch my drift. All sorts of nasty things happen to people on the way to my humble abode and maybe worse when they leave, but no one suffers harm whilst they are here. Or else the person doing harm will find themselves not able to eat nor drink nor fuck nor even shite in the whole of Fairyland for the rest of their accursed lives. And maybe their captain too, more to the point, and that keeps all men honest. I always say if you lead a man by the cock you have his full attention. But enough of this idle banter; you'd be wanting to see Mary. Right this way, sir. Mind your eyes, now. If you sees something you shouldn't oughta, then you shouldn't oughta, I always says. Many a disagreement over things seen here has resulted in a misunderstanding on the way back to the docks. So best to keep your eyes to your own business. Now this door be Mary's. I'll leave you to her and fetch the dog along right smartly. You'll have to strike a deal with Mary yourself, sir, concerning the boy, as the boy is nothing to do with me other than I feed him and suffer him to help out around the place. A right wonder he is too, sir, at cleaning and fetching drinks. And I must say that we have blessed few gen'lmen of any nature here, sir, and have never had one of discerning tastes before. You will be the first and I do hope your arrangement with Mary will take that into consideration. And now, sir, I bid you a good day."
"Good day?" said Richard, managing to get a word in and still trying to come to terms with how his day was proceeding. Certainly not good. He suddenly realized he was naked from the waist up, and vainly attempted to cover himself, though no one seemed to care or even notice.
Miss Mayhew knocked at a door, and bellowed, 'Mary, customer darlin' before taking her leave to once again shock passersby with her repartee.
The door opened upon a young and, for a dockside whore, quite an attractive woman. She had a somewhat vacant expression on her face and was just starting to cry. A young boy was playing in the corner of the room. As Richard entered the room the young woman absently started to unlace her bodice, while staring at the floor and whimpering softly.
"Stop that, woman! For God's sake, what do you take me for? I am here for the boy."
Mary's vacant expression suddenly turned stormy.
"No, sir, you must not! He is only ten years old! Take me, sir. I will do anything you want. Anything at all." said Mary, and then broke down in tears and crumpled into Richard's arms. Richard held her away from him as he would a bucket of dung, as he realized how this scene would look to anyone wandering by the open door. He managed to get her into a chair while only making contact with her by his hands on her arms. There remained the matter of her suggesting that Richard was here for unnatural and un-Godly congress with the boy. He considered striking the woman briefly. But though she was a puterelle she was still arguably a woman and he was a gentleman of noble birth, who did not strike women.
"My good woman. If you were a man you would pay heavily for that insinuation. But, your being a woman, and under the circumstances, let us move on. I am in need of a ship's boy. For such a boy I am prepared to pay handsomely, and I understand that the life at sea is arduous but not without its rewards for a young man. You have my word he will be treated as fairly as such an arrangement warrants. I would say his prospects are limited here from what I can see."
And then, almost as if she had been listening at the door, Miss Mayhew arrived, somewhat dragging an elderly dog of mixed parentage whose back end did not appear to work.
"Well that's a whole nuther arrangement, that is, sir." she said, looking furtively up and down the hall. "We're more by way of rentals at Miss Mayhew's. A purchase is a matter that best be taken up with the good Reverend up on the hill. I admit fault in the matter for not clearly understanding your wishes, sir. Please accept my sincere apologies, especially should the matter come up whilst you are in the presence of the Reverend? Now, as to the dog..."
"My good woman. That dog cannot walk and in fact can hardly stand."
"That's a'right, luv. Me and Mary can hold him up by the arse."
"God's name, woman! I am after a ratter. A dog that kills rats. That dog can only kill time, awaiting its own sad death. Bring me my chemise and boots at once and I will take leave of your establishment!"
"You'd be that toff off'v the Fancy I'll warrant."
Mary suddenly became alert, and Richard's mood darkened even more at being called a toff.
"Indeed, madam." Richard said with contempt.
"It's miss, if you please."
"I'm sure."
"On'y I has a marker, you see." said Miss Mayhew, flourishing a jack of spades.
"Be told, woman. This is the last marker I will honour from this establishment. Let us be clear on that. How much is it for?"
She showed him the marker.
"God in heaven. How could any one man fornicate that much?" said Richard, as he took a seat, trying to comprehend what this marker must represent, in only one week in harbour.
"Well now I've seen men as can fornicate all day and then all night too with a bit of a break. And I've seen men as can fornicate once and then maybe twice but then they're on their way. And then I've seen men such as the good captain Avery who comes here just to talk, sir. Never a once has I seen him actually fornicate. Well, maybe the once." she rolled her eyes heavenward and a wistful expression took over her face briefly, before her normal expression scurried back and took residence once more. "But that was a long time ago. Nowadays he just comes here to talk, and only with young Mary here. And her boy."
"Then how do you account for this fee if there were not, in fact, any 'services' associated with it?"
"Well that's the thing, sir. The good captain comes here reg'lar, when he's in town, which is about once or twice a year. He talks to Mary and the boy for most of an afternoon, then he goes on about his way until the next time he's in town. But he always pays whatever he can. Upkeep, so it is. You see, Mary gets this here private room as her very own. And I hand select her customers so she only gets the ones with all their manners and at least half their teeth. And her boy is my ward, you might say. He'll not find himself suffer any permanent harm. Such as being 'pressed onto a ship, you see. So you just pays yer marker and be on yer high-class way. I'll have yer shirt here shortly as I know a nob can't be seen in public in a state of undress. Mary? Entertain our young gentleman in whatever manner is possible until his shirt arrives. And see he pays his debt, mind. Good day to you, sir."
And with that, the strange woman took her leave, dragging a bewildered dog behind her. She closed the door.
Richard looked at, and possibly for the first time, actually saw the woman seated across the narrow room from him. If she were a lady she would be considered quite beautiful; in her present situation Richard couldn't come up with the appropriate adjective.
"I'm afraid we have gotten off to rather a rough start. My name is Sir Richard, and I am a gentleman of adventure."
Mary got up and curtsied meekly before taking her seat again.
"Well speak, woman! Your name is Mary and you are a woman of easy virtue living in a brothel!"
This outburst caused Mary to well up with tears and wail inconsolably. Richard saw nothing for it, as that strange Miss Mayhew was likely to come back if he failed to act. He crossed the room and tried to comfort Mary without actually touching her. The boy was still in the corner, attempting to be invisible. Richard beckoned to him, and he ran to his mother's arms, trying to avoid getting too close to the man who yelled. Mary quieted down somewhat and wrapped her arms defensively about her son.
Richard tried to adopt a calming, quiet voice.
"My apologies, young woman. As I say, I am Sir Richard. You are Mary by all accounts. And who might this young man be?"
When she spoke, Mary was no louder than a timid mouse.
"Sir, his name is Jonathon. He is ten years of age and quite precious to me. Please do not hurt him."
"My good young woman, I have no intention of causing harm to either of you. I wish to merely settle my accounts with Miss Mayhew once and for all, obtain my things and be off. In the meantime, I am desirous of conversation. Much as you have with Captain Avery it seems."
"Yes, we do at that. He comes as often as he can, and we chat."
"What about, might I ask?"
Mary gave Richard a withering look, although he failed to notice.
"This and that, sir. The weather. The boy's health and interests." Mary's look became softer as she seemed to focus somewhere far away. "My mother..."
"Does your mother work here too?" Richard asked, grimacing somewhat at the word 'work'. Richard had no idea what work an old whore would do but he suspected it to be a little of everything.
"Lord no, sir. She was a lady. Back Home."
"Lady? I can well imagine."
"She was a lady, sir, a cousin of the Baronet of Egginton, and unlikely to return your post should you have had the effrontery to send her a letter!"
Mary glowered at Richard, who was at a complete loss for words. What Mary was saying could not possibly be true. She was a whore on the docks at Fairyland. The only creature of lower status than a dockside whore was the dead rat floating in the bilge on board the Fancy. How could she conceivably be of gentle birth? Richard had been taken for a fool several times already this morning; he suspected there was some manner of long con going on at his expense. Best to play along, he decided.
"She died giving me birth." Mary continued.
"I'm sorry to hear that. And what of your father, may I inquire?"
"My father was a gentleman naval officer. He took a commission at the request of the King himself aboard a foreign warship. The land to the south was on friendly terms then and this swapping of naval officers was fairly common. But the King was planning for the peace to end suddenly, some sort of court intrigue or another, who can say. So he had been seeding the southern ships with loyal officers such as my father. Their orders were to wait for hostilities to break out and then to disable the ships they were on."
"But my good woman -"
Mary shot Richard a look that was undeniably condescending. Whore or not, she had perfected the condescending glare and it elicited an automatic response from Richard, whose social status was just high enough to know that most everyone else was higher. Everyone of consequence, at least. He was quite familiar with the condescending glare back Home.
"My lady," continued Richard, "we have been at peace with the southern kingdom for at least..."
"Ten years. And even at that there was only the one hostile act. The Charles from the southern fleet was fired upon at night. It was only a slaver sending one off the bow of the Charles. Slavers run dark at night and there must have been a danger of collision. In any event, the first mate of the Charles, my father, took this as the start of hostilities, and seized the ship."
"Incited a mutiny, you mean."
"In war you seize enemy vessels."
"But it wasn't a war. There never was a war!"
"And that is why when my father headed back north with his prize he did not get the warm reception he was expecting. It seems that the winds of court intrigue blow both ways, and now we were fast friends with the southern kingdom. My father's actions were viewed as an embarrassment to our King and an insult to the southern king. He was wanted for piracy on the high seas and the treasonous capture of an ally's warship. But fortunately my father still had some well-placed friends. He was warned that the hangman's noose awaited him if he came Home, and that his fortune was forfeit and his daughter was destined to become a nun. So he hid the Charles on some island and came to fetch me in the dead of night. We left with very little. We made it to the island where the Charles was hiding. And that is the last I ever saw of my gentleman father. I was entrusted to the care of Captain Avery aboard the newly renamed Fancy and found myself here, penniless and pregnant."
"Pregnant?" Richard was fully engaged in the young woman's story, despite his suspicion that it was so much dung.
"Yes. I admit it was an indiscretion. But I was betrothed to the Baronet's son. And we were both young."
"But surely the Baronet would have saved you at least, if not your father?"
"A Baronetcy is not necessarily hereditary like other titles. It is given for favours. And it is revoked for disfavour. The Baronet would do nothing to risk the disfavour of the King. The marriage was annulled before it even happened and the Baronet's son went to the southern court as part of a 'diplomatic exchange', which is court talk for hostage. There would be no further hostilities between the two kingdoms for a while, at least."
Richard did some quick social calculations. If what this young lady was saying were true, then, impossibly, she ranked quite a bit higher than Richard himself. Under different circumstances she would have been the Lady Eddington, and her somewhat invisible son would eventually become the Baronet. Her present circumstances aside. But it was very hard to put her present circumstances aside. Being in the gentry was preordained by God. To fall so far from His grace, this woman must have committed a sin much greater than a little indiscretion. Or, more likely, she was simply spinning a tale. She did have gentle speech, though. And, when it was not a glare, an absolutely charming smile. And the vision of her removing her bodice crept into Richard's mind briefly before he could shut it out.
"And why are you telling me all this? Surely your secrecy is important. The same King sits the throne even now."
"The King only has a grievance against my father, and therefore me, in public and particularly around the southern king. Apart from that if we go about our affairs quietly then he has no interest in us, and has in all likelihood quite forgotten about us." Mary's speech stuttered a bit as emotion caught up with her. "You strike me as a gentleman, sir. The first I've seen in ten years. You are my last hope. Wherever you are going, sir, I beseech you. Take me and my boy along with you."
Tears welled up in Mary's eyes. They made her look even more lovely. Just as Richard was considering this, a loud thumping knock on the door turned out to be Richard's things arriving by way of yet another boy. They were accompanied by the matron of the establishment, who was brandishing the captain's marker.
"Mary, ye've not been tellin' yer stories again has ye luv? I do apologize, sorr, she does put on airs sometimes. Now then, sorr, would ye be wanting to pay in coin or in credit? I be good either way."
The spell of Mary's story evaporated in a flash, to be replaced by Richard's loathing of the base creature before him.
"My good woman, what sort of fool do you take me for? I have not as yet established credit on this acursèd rock. You'll take such coin as I have and be glad of it. Now give me my things!"
Richard threw a bag of coins on a low table and put on his newly clean shirt, sword and greatcoat. Lastly he donned his boots, which, he had to admit, no longer smelled of dead rat and bilge.
"We seems to be a bit short, sir. The marker be for double this amount."
"Then I would take it up with the captain, madam. Good day to you!" and Richard stormed off, making a point of looking into all of the rooms he passed by and staring at whomever was in there.